The small print
Privacy notice
Short version: your answers never leave your device, and we do not know who you are.
Who we are
The Morningwood Scale is published by Traibe. You can reach us through the contact form on this site; messages go to our team at Traibe.
What the sheet asks, and where it goes
The sheet asks blunt personal questions: your height, weight, age, children, how many people you have slept with, tattoos, education, work, and three questions about loyalty, drama and banter. Every line has an I'd rather not say option. You do not need an account and we never ask for your name, email address or date of birth.
Everything you type is scored inside your browser and is never sent to us or to anyone else. It is held in your browser's session storage and is deleted when you close the tab, or sooner if you use Clear my data on the result page. We have no way of seeing it.
Share cards and nicknames
Share cards are drawn on your device. They carry the total, the rank, Danny's verdict and the name of the line that cost most, never the answer on it. If you add a nickname it is placed on the card locally and is not transmitted. What you do with a card afterwards is up to you.
Analytics
We use Google Analytics 4 to count visits, sheet starts, completions, shares and clicks through to Traibe. These events never include your answers, your total or a nickname. In the UK, the European Economic Area and Switzerland, analytics runs only if you accept it in the cookie banner, and you can change your choice at any time through Cookie settings in the footer. Where consent is not required we still ask Google to anonymise your IP address and we do not use advertising features.
Cookies
We set one cookie to remember your cookie choice and one to remember whether the banner applies to your region. Google Analytics sets its own cookies only after you accept. There are no advertising cookies.
Contact form
If you write to us we keep your message and the email address you give us for as long as we need to reply, and for no more than 12 months afterwards.
Hosting
The site is served by Vercel, which keeps standard server logs for security for a short period.
Your rights
Under UK and EU data protection law you can ask what we hold about you, ask us to correct or delete it, and complain to the Information Commissioner's Office or your local authority. Use the contact form.
Age
This site is for adults aged 18 and over.
Changes
We will update this notice when the site changes. Version 2.0, 12 October 2026.